Your love will never be replaced (:

22 May 2008 (00:46);

Today marks the 4th year of my beloved auntie’s departure. She’s my biggest inspiration and I’ve always looked upon her as a mentor. Her permanent departure has indeed shaken my world that it seems useless to live. You can never imagine how important she is to my life. Even at that point of time, I never see the need to love anyone else except for her. But after such a great loss, it seems impossible for me to love again. The fear to lose someone in life is painful and I prayed to god that I would never feel the same pain again. I swear, it’s painful to live.

Who ever know me well enough will always remember that tears are usually shed while talking and thinking about her. The poignant moments that I spent with her will forever etched in my mind and it’s impossible for me to forget.

Many may think that she is just an aunty to me. But to me, she’s more then a mum who is willing to feed her own milk and take good care of my well-being. I always bore her words in mind- to study and excel in life. Never had I known it’s heart-wrenching to know that she left me even before I break the news of the excellent result that I had achieved.

What will you feel when you have to celebrate an occasion such a s Hari Raya without you lovedones' presence? Since her death, such occasion seems pointless to me. Nothing interests me at all but instead it arouses the emotions inside of me. However she’s nowhere to be seen but I can still sense her presence.

One thing I never regret in my life- to say that I love her before her death. I’m certainly sure that even now she knows how much I truly love her. I swear, I love her more then my own life.

The happiest moment is when she said “I love you more like a daughter, my dear.”

Dear love (Mami Nachak),
I love you for eternity and I swear your love can never be replaced by anyone else. Your that someone who shows me what’s life is and your that someone who loves me more than anyone else. Your permanent departure has indeed teaches me a lesson. On your death, I seem to hate god for taking you away. But that very dream where you appeared and explain what’s life and death, has certainly makes me understand. Once again, I wish to thank you for everything and your love can never be forgotten. I LOVE YOU (:

*I MISS YOU DEAR LOVE*

Take care love.